


How Did We Get So Tangled

by TeegyBee



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 14:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeegyBee/pseuds/TeegyBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were happy. They were truly, one hundred percent happy with their lives. Until management got involved. Inspired by Darren/Blaine's performance of "Against All Odds" and Maroon 5's Sunday Morning.</p><p>Angst, but I promise that there is a happy ending!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Did We Get So Tangled

When Chris and Darren first met, it didn't go the way most people thought it did. They weren't immediate friends, they didn't hate each other, it wasn't love at first sight, it was just like meeting any other cast member. Even though Chris knew Darren from his musicals on youtube and Darren knew Chris from watching Glee as a fan, they were more acquaintances than anything else.

 

They slowly got to know each other, mostly from talking in between takes or after they got bored with running their lines. They had a lot in common, of course, which was something they didn't have with the other members of the Glee cast. Chris' passion for writing and literature and Darren's love for song writing and composing put them both on the same level of intelligence, which made it easier for them to keep up with each other.

 

Darren's enthusiasm and energy complimented Chris' soft and composed behaviour, though they both had a similar sense of humour. Their similar quips often led to inside jokes that others didn't understand and usually rolled their eyes at, knowing it was just another Chris and Darren thing.

 

Contrary to what most people believe, it wasn't during the filming of Original Song that Darren realised his feelings for Chris were much closer to Blaine's than he realised, nor did Chris' heart break when Darren said ' _I love you'_ as Blaine in the season finale.

 

It wasn't until the return of season three that they actually became friends.

 

Neither of them knew why, or what happened, they just knew that something had changed over the break between seasons, something that brought them closer together. It was obvious on set, to everyone, that Chris and Darren were closer than they had been the previous season, but not obvious enough.

 

Darren couldn't explain it, couldn't pin-point the exact moment or the exact reason he suddenly had to include Chris in every part of his life, but before he knew it, he was. He invited Chris to his gigs, offered to carpool because they lived in the same direction from set and crashed more times than not at Chris' house because it got too late to drive home.

He would never admit it, but he hogged Chris' attention.

By October, Darren found it hard to spend time alone. Usually he found an excuse for Chris to be around, even if it was as lame as needing advice on a song lyric, which Chris could obviously see straight through given that Darren never asked for help when writing a song.

Chris didn't have to try to get Darren's attention because Darren was already set on demanding Chris' every hour of the day. Even after long days of filming, when everyone else left in exhaustion at 2am to go to bed and sleep for the next two days, Darren bounded into Chris' space and managed to claim him for a couple more hours.

The final two months of 2011 were all over the place for Chris and Darren. They could both tell that there was something different between them, something they couldn't quite label but something that was so distinctly _there_. It was hard to ignore. Hard for them to try and push aside, to forget and hope that the strangeness would pass.

It was beyond frustrating for both of them. Chris had a feeling he knew what was happening, which only made him try to move on from it even more. Darren on the other hand, was figuring it out more and more each day, slowly processing every touch, every look, every feeling and response. He calculated it all, from the way his skin tingled when Chris so much as brushed against him accidentally, to the way his mind could not think of anything but Chris whether the man was around or not.

Darren figured it out, long before Chris did.

Which is why Darren was the first to do something about it.

After another long night of shooting, Darren drove Chris home like he usually did and crashed in on Chris' space like any normal day. They had been in the kitchen, getting ready to cook chocolate chip cookies – Darren was hungry and Chris wanted junk food, it was nothing out of the ordinary for them to cook a batch of cookies at 3am on a Saturday morning.

Darren felt his eyes lingering on Chris more than they normally did, following his every move, his every step, the way his hair had started to flop at the front as Kurt's hairspray wore off and the distinct differences that there were between Chris and Kurt. From the plain t-shirt and hoodie to the casual, loose jeans; Chris was so different to Kurt and Darren saw every part of that detail, that transformation that amazed him about Chris.

He had let his eyes linger longer than he should have. Chris noticed and smiled, somewhat timidly but confident in only a way that Chris could pull off. Darren returned the smile, though wobbly in comparison. From that moment, it was clear to both of them that things had definitely changed, that the _something_ they had been trying to both ignore and figure out simultaneously was a matter of the heart and not something they could just move on from.

On the couch that night, Darren's eyes lingered again. They lingered for a fraction too long for the second time. He didn't think twice about leaning closer, closer to Chris, to the man that had captured him in a way that not even Darren could understand, closer until their lips brushed with the softest of touches, close enough that he could reach a hand up to cup the back of Chris' neck and pull him closer to _him_.

It was slow, it was delicate, it was everything that Kurt and Blaine's first kiss wasn't. It was purely Chris and Darren, two men who hadn't even known that such a thing was possible, who had danced an unknown routine around each other for almost a year an a half.

When they pulled apart, their reactions were no less than what you would expect. Their eyes were boring into each others', searching for anything to clarify that they weren't in a dream, that they hadn't just crossed a line that should have been left alone.

Their smiles said it all though.

They weren't shy, they weren't overly bright, they were just...knowing. Both men knew what the kiss meant, knowing where that left them, knowing the reason for why they had felt so different lately. Like most things, they couldn't explain it, they both just _knew._

They talked, of course, about each other, about what they were going to do, who they were going to tell, what exactly they were calling themselves. They didn't talk about Darren's sexuality, neither of them even considering it an issue.

They decided to keep it to themselves. Chris had mentioned that if they kept it to themselves and someone from the cast were to find out, they would have hell to pay, but Darren reasoned that sharing it would only ruin the feeling that they had in that moment, of being together as just them with no interference.

It was hard for Chris to disagree when Darren leant forward again to connect their lips, whispering against Chris' that they wouldn't be able to share moments like this without having their friends breathing down their necks for answers and details. Besides, Chris was a private person and had always known that when he did get a boyfriend, he wasn't going to announce it to the world.

So, they kept it a secret. They only told their family, knowing that being in different towns and states would benefit them in getting private time away from prying eyes.

It was easy keeping it between the two of them. On set, they acted no differently around each other than they normally did. They still goofed around, annoyed Ryan, Zach and random crew members when they were bored. No one could see a difference in their behaviour, so no one suspected that they were anything more than friends, which took no effort on Chris and Darren's part.

They didn't even attempt to sneak away to their trailers to make-out in their free time because they knew better than to try that.

Nothing had changed and that's why it worked so perfectly for them. Darren could still remember in vivid detail the night Chris told him that he loved him. It was cheesy, it was ridiculous, but it was romantic. It was just them, together and alone on the beach at five o'clock on a sunday morning, Darren leaning back into Chris' chest and holding onto Chris' arms that were curled around Darren's waist.

Chris had been humming a tune that was stuck in his head and Darren filled the otherwise silence with lyrics “ _Fingers trace your every outline_ ,” Darren ran his fingers gently along Chris' arms, “ _Paint a picture with my hands,_ ” He drew little faces with bright and happy smiles on Chris' palms, “ _Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm_ ,” Chris gently swayed Darren in his arms, working against and with the breeze, “ _Change the weather, still together when it ends.”_

Darren squeezed Chris' hand as he sang the last line, like he was promising exactly what the lyrics said, promising to Chris that they would be together no matter what, even if they weren't. It was that moment, that very gesture that controlled Chris in a way he had never experienced. The words had slipped from his lips before he had a chance to think them over, but he would never, for even a second, wish to take them back.

“I love you.”

Chris knew, in the way that Darren's body stiffened, they way his words caught in his throat, that he wasn't ready to say it back, but Chris knew Darren felt that he would one day be able to say the same words when he continued singing, “ _That may be all I need..._ ”  
  
A little less than a month later, Darren said it back.

They were happy. They were truly, one hundred percent happy with their lives.

Until management got involved.

They hadn't planned to keep it a secret for as long as they did, it just seemed easy. No one was bothering them, they weren't causing any drama, it was just working. So why tamper with something that was running smoothly?

After being together for ten months with no one finding out – a success that they were both especially proud of and also found ridiculously hilarious – Chris and Darren were caught by Darren's manager.

They were at Darren's apartment, having a date night. Chris had put a movie on, but neither paid any attention past the opening scene because Darren turned in Chris' arms to press a passionate kiss to his lips. Closed mouth kissing led to Darren pushing his tongue into Chris' mouth, which led to Chris pulling Darren's shirt off. A minute later, Darren was pulling Chris' shirt off and rolling Chris on top of him, their lips still connected.

That was the exact moment Darren's door had burst open.

His manager had been knocking, but neither of them heard the noise, both lost in the moment. It was impossible to hide what was clear as crystal, they didn't even try to deny anything, though they desperately wanted to. Michael was happy for them, or at least he said he was, but the smile he gave them was a little too fake, his words a little too forced. He told them, more than once, that they should keep it to themselves, which Chris and Darren laughed about later. They managed ten months on their own, they were sure they could handle it.

But it didn't stop after a single warning.

Michael told Anne, Chris' manager, which only resulted in another unnecessary lecture where Chris and Darren were told everything they already knew.

They were able to breathe a sigh of relief when they got time alone, away from their managers and their constant nagging. The relief didn't last long though. Two weeks after Michael and Anne finding out, they called Chris and Darren into a meeting.

If he was being polite, Darren would say that he listened to every word Michael said and agreed to everything he suggested willingly. If Chris was being honest, he would say that it went nothing like that.

Darren didn't agree with anything that Michael and Anne had said; from Michael's insistence that they do not interact at public events, to Anne's suggestion that they “see other people” in the eyes of the media to take the focus off the two of them. Chris defended that the focus wasn't on them any more than normal, emphasising that he and Darren had been doing perfectly fine on their own for ten months. Their arguments seemed to have worked in their favour for a little over a week until Michael stupidly went on the fan websites, opening a whole new world that Chris and Darren had purposely chosen to ignore; and apparently for good reason.

Michael and Anne had taken it upon themselves to dictate Chris and Darren's every move. They scheduled Darren's gigs at the same time as Chris' signings to ensure they couldn't be seen together. Michael hired Mia Swier as a 'distraction' from media attention, while Anne entrusted Will Sherrod to play chummy with Chris out in public as fans were digging for information on Chris' boyfriend.

Chris and Darren went along with it all, though neither of them agreed that it was needed, they didn't believe that finding decoy significant others was the answer to keeping the fans from insisting on the existence of their relationship. The fans could imagine and believe whatever they wanted, for all Chris cared, fake relationships weren't going to change their minds, so what was the point?

As much as they didn't like it, Chris and Darren still continued to follow Michael and Anne's directions. They kept a safe distance from each other at public events, usually even stayed away from each other completely. Chris was often accompanied by Will, which kept the fans talking about them instead of him and Darren. Chris was okay with it, but there were moments when he wished he could just rewind a couple of months and go back to how he and Darren were; happy.

Darren was often sighted with Mia, particularly when he had a gig or there was a concert on as they were her typical saturday night venues, which Darren noticed to be the complete opposite to Chris. The more Darren thought about it, the more he realised; Mia and Chris were polar opposites.

While Chris was responsible and thoughtful, Mia was reckless and spontaneous. Sometimes it was too much for Darren, if he had to spend the day with Mia; they never had the balance that he and Chris had.

For Chris, it was hard taking Will to all the things that he wished he could take Darren, and he knew that it was lying to a certain degree, particularly since he had let slip that he had a boyfriend in an interview a few months after he and Darren had started dating. Chris figured it wasn't his fault everyone jumped on the idea of the first boy he had been seen with more than a couple of times.

They both hated it. They both wanted to give up the act and tell the world, but they also wanted their privacy. So they dealt with it. They made the most of the time they got to spend alone and made Michael and Anne promise that they wouldn't interfere with their privacy more than what was necessary.

Chris and Darren fell into a comfortable routine. Darren would stay at Chris' a few nights of the week, usually claiming he was too tired to drive the ten minutes to his own house, even though Chris knew perfectly well that it was just an excuse. On the other nights of the week, Darren just grinned when he missed the turn off to Chris' and instead drove them back to his own house. It was at the point where they really should be living together because half of Darren's stuff was at Chris' and Darren's draws were a mix of Colfer and Criss.

They still carpooled to work everyday, even after Michael tried to argue that it was took risky; Darren had just pointed out that no one had even noticed during their ten months together, how was it different now?

Anne had insisted that Chris introduce Will to some friends from Glee, though Chris point blank refused to involve Will with the world of Glee. Darren had found it hard to keep Mia away from set as she seemed to show up randomly, either bringing him lunch or just dragging him off to sit with in his breaks. He didn't blame her, though. She was just doing her job.

Chris hated it, Darren wished it would end, but they grinned and bared it for reasons _they_ didn't even understand. As much as they hated it, they both found that they had made a good friend as a result of the whole plan. Chris and Will spent time with each other outside of Anne's orders, visiting random places and going for runs in the mornings. Darren and Mia also became close friends, their taste in music and love for performing being the perfect balance that Darren was unable to find in her too similar personality.

It took just a little under three months for everything to fall apart.

The tension between Chris and Darren was becoming obvious. They were both frustrated, annoyed and temperamental more often than not. Darren didn't stay at Chris' as much as he used to, thinking it was best to give each other a little space and room to breathe. Their managers had been suffocating them more and more lately, and Chris was almost at the point of bursting.

They didn't say “I love you” when they said goodbye any more. They barley shared a bed. Everything just went from bad to worse when Kurt and Blaine broke up.

The final straw came when Michael announced Darren to be in a relationship with Mia, publicly declaring him as straight and confirming the rumours that they lived together.

Darren didn't know anything about what had happened, though. He was held back late on set with Chord because Ryan wanted to re-shoot a couple of their scenes as there was an issue with continuity, which meant that after they re-shot the ones they needed to, they also had to re-shoot the remaining scenes. It was a late night, it was chaos, Darren didn't even get a chance to ring Chris and let him know he was going to be late.

Which is why Chris was sitting alone on Darren's bed, staring down at the bag on the floor. He had been waiting over four hours for Darren to get home and had sent a couple of text messages that weren't replied to.

Chris slowly stood up and hoisted his bag onto his shoulder. He went into Darren's kitchen and read the note he had written about an hour ago. Guilt was all Chris could feel. Guilt for letting things get as bad as they had, guilt for what he was about to do. He felt guilty and responsible for letting things with Will be believable to the media and the fans.

He pushed past it though, knowing that he would stay out of guilt if he thought too long about it. He dropped the note back onto the counter and walked away before he changed his mind and waited to say it all to Darren himself. He couldn't do that though, he couldn't see the look on Darren's face when he took back the words he promised himself he never would. He was being a coward, he knew that, but hurting Darren from a distance was enough, he couldn't do it face to face.

He stopped at the front door and took one more look at what he was leaving behind. A stray tear fell onto his cheek and he quickly shut the door.

By the time Darren got home, it was 4am. He stumbled through the door, actually exhausted for once in his life. He went straight to the kitchen instead of calling out to Chris and dumped his bag on the counter. He pulled out a bottle of apple juice, gulping most of it in one go.

He wandered off to his room to find Chris, but when he opened his door he stopped in surprise. Chris wasn't asleep in his bed like he though he would be. His bed was made, and it was empty. He stared around his room, an uneasy feeling settling over him, a feeling that something was wrong, something was definitely wrong about his bedroom but he couldn't tell what. He was still trying to figure out why Chris wasn't there.

He went back to his bag to pull out his phone. He found two text messages from Chris, one asking him if he was finished yet, the other saying he was going to bed. _Maybe he meant his own bed,_ Darren thought.

Out of the corner of his eye, Darren spotted a piece of paper poking out from under his bag. He pulled it out to see his name scrawled across the front and opened it with shaky fingers; his bad feeling was back.

_Darren,_

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let everything become like this, that I let what we had be taken away from us so easily. It wasn't meant to be this way. It was never meant to end like this._

_I promise you, that what we had in those ten months, that was real. I loved you, I honestly did. I loved more than I knew I could, more than I ever thought I would be able to. I've tried convincing myself that I still love you, that I can make this work between us, but I know that I would be lying to myself and you if I stayed out of guilt._

_I'm so sorry, but this is for the best. I can't pretend to feel something that I don't, I cannot let myself put you through that, it wouldn't be fair to either of us._

_I did love you, please don't ever forget that._

_Chris._

Darren felt numb. His hands were trembling and his legs felt weak. His stomach was churning and he couldn't see clearly through his blurred vision. His breathing was heavy and frantic, getting more and more rapid by the second. He forced his legs to move, forced them to take him to his bedroom where he pulled open every draw and cupboard. The contents that was once a mess of clothes, his and Chris' shirts, pants, socks and underwear thrown together in one big mess was now folded neatly. Darren's socks were paired in one draw, his underwear in the other. The shelves of his cupboard were filled with his pants while his shirts were hanging up. They were only his, all of Chris' were gone.

He stepped backwards, stumbling until he collided with his bed. He didn't fall on top of it, he fell to the floor, his legs giving way underneath him. His body was shaking. His eyes were stinging. His phone was gripped tightly in his hand, the note in the other. He opened his phone and pulled up his contacts, clicking on a name a pressing the phone to his ear without even thinking about the time. There was answer after three rings.

“Really Darren, four o'clock in the fucking morn-”

Darren choked on a sob, “Joey...”

Joey was off the phone and at Darren's house within twenty minutes, barging into Darren's room to find his best friend on the floor at the end of his bed. Darren was still breathing frantically, clutching the note in his hands and holding his head between his knees. His body was shaking violently now, and he was sobbing in gasps and uneven breaths.

Joey ran to his side, dropping to the floor beside him and pulling him into his arms. Darren clung to Joey, wrapped his arms around any part of him that could be reached and sobbed into Joey's t-shirt. Joey wanted to ask questions, he wanted to know what happened, but Darren was in no state to answer anything. He had never seen Darren like this before. He had seen him cry once, but it had been nothing more than a couple of tears before Darren was bouncing on his feet again.

Joey didn't know how to handle Darren like this, it was something he had never needed to do, so he held him, whispering words of comfort with the hope that it would calm Darren down. It worked a little. Darren was calmer after a few minutes, though he was still shaking and his breaths were still coming in gasps, but he wasn't clinging to Joey as tightly. Joey noticed the piece of paper in Darren's hand, noticed how Darren was clenching it so tight as if letting it go was too painful. Joey tried to take it from Darren, who fought against him at first but relented when Joey assured him he was there to help.

He read the note and is heart broke for Darren as his eyes followed the lines, each word taking something away from Darren. He stopped in confusion when he got to the name; _Chris_. He had always suspected that Darren felt more for Chris than he ever let on, but he never knew just how right he had been.

“Oh Darren...” He pulled Darren closer, squeezing him so he knew he was there for him, would always be there for him. “It's going to be okay.”

The next week was hell for both Chris and Darren.

Chris closed himself off to everyone and let his work take over, distracting himself by running lines more than he ever needed, writing chapters he knew he would never use, editing pieces he knew there was nothing wrong with. He just continued to work until he no longer thought about anything but what he had to get done in a day.

Darren tried to focus. He tried to run over scenes that were a little tricky, he tried to write music in his free time, he tried to be his bouncy and energetic self, he really tried. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how hard he pushed himself to get through every single minute of every single day, it was never enough.

The only thing that made it bearable was Chris filming on the New York set, meaning he and Darren never crossed paths during a day of filming. Darren didn't eat in the cafeteria any more. He didn't sit with Chord and listen to his impressions, he didn't sit with Jenna and laugh at her jokes, he didn't sit across from Kevin and join in on making up a random rap.

He took his food with him to his trailer and sat alone.

It was stupid, he knew. But he also knew that Chris still ate in the cafeteria and he definitely knew that if he saw Chris, he wouldn't be able to keep himself together. It was hard enough just being on set without falling apart, let alone seeing the man he loved, who didn't love him back.

No one really noticed that something was actually wrong. They were used to Darren disappearing on set as he used to leave to seek out Chris, they were familiar with Chris and his dedication to his work, they didn't notice the pain in Darren's eyes when he left by himself.

It's wasn't until Darren fell apart that they realised something was definitely wrong.

They'd been filming since six o'clock in the morning and Darren was exhausted. He had one more scene to film and it was already just after midnight. He could feel his mood plummeting further than it had all week, could feel his resolve cracking and peeling away. He forced his walls up, forced himself to stay focussed like he had been trying to all week. It hadn't really worked, though. He knew he hadn't put in his best effort in filming this week, so he doubled his efforts this time in the only way he knew how; he became Blaine. Fully and convincingly Blaine Devon Anderson.

Darren walked with the other members of New Directions into the auditorium, though he stopped at the piano while they kept on walking to sit in the audience. Darren fiddled with the keys of the piano, testing them lightly and then loudly as he waited for the lighting crew to set up. It was just him on the stage, alone. Alone with the piano and the music, the words to a song that meant too much to him, was too close to his heart right now.

One single spot light was set up to shine directly on Darren while the rest of the stage was drowned in darkness. He was about to sing live, he just hoped his voice would survive the song, hoped his heart wouldn't crash and burn before he even began.

The only thing that seemed to be on his side was that he was meant to look upset, he was meant to look heartbroken for this scene. He just hoped no on saw through Blaine and into Darren.

He started to play at the same time the stage light came on, pressing the keys under his fingers and instantly losing himself in the music, “ _How can I just let you walk away, let you leave without a trace, when I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh._ ”

“ _You're the only one who really knew me at all,”_ Darren looked over at Chord, who as Sam appeared confused. _“How can you just walk away from me, when all I can do is watch you leave? 'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears, you're the only one who really knew me at all.”_

It was harder than Darren thought it would be, harder to be Blaine, harder to be Blaine looking at Sam and not Darren seeing Chris. His face was all Darren could see, all Darren could picture as if he was right there in front of him, watching him suffer, watching him go through the pain of heartbreak.

He didn't know how long he could go on like this.

“ _I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry_ ,” He couldn't see Chord any more, couldn't see Sam in the audience watching Blaine, watching Blaine who wasn't even there, “ _there's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why, you're the only one who really knew me at all_ ,” he could only see Chris, could only see the beach from the first time he said 'I love you', could only see Chris' eyes, knowing and perfectly blue after the first time they kissed.

That had all changed, though. It was gone, Chris was gone. Now all he could see was the note, taunting him, making him see that it was over, that they were never going to be anything again.

“ _So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space_ ,” Darren was losing his own battle, failing his own war, he was falling apart, “ _And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face_.”

In the audience, Chord watched Darren with concern. Not because he was meant to as Sam, but because he could see that something was not right. Darren looked too broken, too emotional for the scene. “Something is wrong.”

“Shh,” Becca hissed, subtly nudging Chord with her foot. At the same time, Darren choked on his words and fumbled a key.

Chord leant forward in his seat, still watching Darren, “No something is definitely wrong.”

Darren was crying, but no one from the audience could see. He had tried to hold them in, tried to keep his walls from crumbling, but he couldn't. Tears were falling and he couldn't stop them. He felt the same feeling return, the feeling that had taken over him the night he read Chris' letter, that feeling of being numb, but feeling everything at the same time. His head was spinning, his eyes were losing focus and he couldn't see the right keys any more.

He was falling apart.

Chord jumped out of his seat and onto the stage just as Darren broke down completely. Just like it had a week ago, Darren's body shook violently as sobs took over. He could feel himself falling; literally and figuratively, mentally and physically. He pushed the piano away, hands slamming loudly onto the keys as he slid it away from him.

He was falling forwards.

Chord reached for Darren, stopping him from hitting the floor, stopping him from crumbling completely. Instead, they fell to the floor together, with Chord holding Darren tightly in his arms. The night he found the note, Darren needed someone to cling to, someone to hold and tell him everything was going to be okay, but today, Darren wanted to let go, didn't want to hold on. He struggled against Chords grip, mumbling at him to make it stop.

“Darren, what's going on?” it was a long shot, Chord didn't think he would get a straight answer out of Darren, but he had to start somewhere, “What happened?”

He didn't get a response, it obviously being too hard for Darren to talk through his gasping breaths and violent sobs. Chord tried a new approach. He tried to calm Darren down, tried to ease him out of what was clearly a panic attack. Darren wasn't calming down, his breathing wasn't slowing, if anything it was increasing.

Five minutes went passed and there was no change. Someone suggested finding someone form first aid, which prompted Darren to talk in panic, his rapid breathing and sobs making it hard to understand, but they all caught one word spoken multiple times, one name; _Chris._

“Someone go find Chris,” Chord demanded, knowing that if there was anyone who was able to help Darren it would be Chris. Darren heard him, but he didn't register what the words meant, he couldn't process anything, couldn't stop his mind from spinning, from buzzing.

On the other set, Chris, Lea and Naya were filming scenes in the apartment, dancing around holding onto boyfriend pillows and singling along with Mamma Mia. They were almost done for the night, this being their last scene to film.

They were half way through the first shot when Kevin came running onto the set, “Chris, we need you on the auditorium set, it's Darren.”

Chris noted the cracks in Kevin's voice, the way his eyes shone with tears of worry. After a week of ignoring every thought, every emotion, every feeling that related to Darren, Kevin's simple actions broke the barrier that Chris had built.

He didn't wait for the explanation that Lea and Naya had demanded out of Kevin, he didn't stop to apologise to the crew, he just ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, going against every rule he had forced himself to follow over the past week, every rule that told him to keep his distance from Darren, to stay away. He ignored everything and ran.

Once on the set of the auditorium, Chris navigated his way through backstage, passed all the mirrors. The closer he got, the louder the sounds from the stage are. He could hear Becca's voice, telling Darren that everything was okay, to try and even out his breathing, but Darren's gasps were equally as loud.

Chris ran onto the stage, seeing Chord on the floor with Darren in his arms, shaking uncontrollably and gasping. Chris dropped to the floor in front of Darren, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly before releasing his grip. Everyone else in the room hovered around the edges.

“Dare, squeeze my hand if you can hear me,” Chris waited for Darren to respond and after a couple of seconds, Darren squeezed his hand.

Chris rubbed a few circles on Darren's palm before he spoke again, “Dare, it's Chris, I need you to do something for me, I need you to focus on my voice, can you do that?”

Chord's eyes flicked between Chris and Darren, watching as Darren responded to Chris' voice in a way he hadn't for anyone else. Darren nodded, only very slightly, but it was a reaction and that's all Chris was asking for.

“Good, now can you open your eyes for me?” Darren's eyes slowly opened, but they were looking straight ahead to a spot beside Chris, not at him. That didn't hide the fact that they were mirroring pain and hurt. Chris had to fight against the tears he could feel stinging behind his eyes.

“How about we get that breathing under control,” Chris grabbed Darren's other hand, “I'm going to squeeze your hands and I want you to hold your breath until I let go,” Darren's head shot up and looked directly at Chris, eyes wide in panic, “Hey, no, it's going to be fine, just trust me.”

Chris rubbed his thumbs along the tops of Darren's hands, soothing him. He gently started to squeeze Darren's hands, easing him into the exercise. Chris could see it working with each little bit of pressure his hands gave Darren's.

Darren didn't try to gulp in a breath of air, or let the one he had out, he just stopped breathing when he felt the pressure of Chris' fingers against his palms.

Chris watched Darren hold his breath as he held Darren's hands, gripping them tightly. He knew why this was happening, he knew he was the reason for what Darren was going through. He could handle putting himself through anything to make things right for Darren, to let Darren be happy and have the life that he dreamed of since he was a little boy, but he couldn't handle this.

He couldn't handle seeing the pain in Darren's eyes, the pure hurt that he had caused. He couldn't handle putting Darren through that, he just _couldn't_. Chris felt a couple of tears roll down his cheek as he looked up a little, his eyes meeting Chord's, who was looking between him and Darren in confusion, from the tear tracks on Darren's face to the fresh ones rolling down Chris'.

Chris released the pressure on Darren's hands and watched as Darren automatically took a breath in, before slowly letting it out. He took a few more deep breaths until it was clear that he was okay, that his breathing was finally even and regular. His shaking had stopped and he was sitting in Chord's arms, a little disorientated.

Chord pulled his arms back, letting one hand rest one Darren's shoulder. Chris still had hold Darren's hand, but Darren hadn't looked up since he had started breathing again.

Chris gently rubbed his thumbs along Darren's hands again, “Darren?”

Darren's head turned to Chris, his eyes filled with tears that were starting to spill over. Chris' heart broke for Darren, for what he had caused. He felt the guilt starting to eat away at him, pulling him apart piece by piece until he was no longer able to handle it.

Chord started to stand up, nodding at Chris as he did and indicating to everyone else to follow him out of the auditorium. Chris and Darren were the only ones left on the stage.

Darren pulled his hands away from Chris and wrapped them around his knees. Chris tried not to let that simple movement hurt, but it did. “Dare?”

“Why?” It was barely more than a whisper.

Chris knew what he was asking, knew without having to ask himself, “It's for the best.”

“No, you said...you didn't love me any more, why?” Darren's voice wobbled, choked and was on the verge of crumbling completely; it was eating away at Chris' resolve.

Chris didn't know how to answer, didn't know what to say. He couldn't do this to Darren again, not to his face, not like this. He stayed silent for too long. Darren got up off the floor and started to walk away from him, off the stage.

“I lied.”

Darren stopped when he reached the end of the piano, but he didn't turn around, just waited for Chris to continue, to explain what he meant.

“I told you I didn't love you,” Darren couldn't help the little sob that escaped his lips, “That was a lie.”

Darren did turn around this time, his face scrunched up into confusion, “Why?”

“It was too much, with everything Michael and Anne put us through, I felt like I was suffocating. I thought it would be easier this way.”

Darren walked over to the piano bench, sitting down on the end closest to Chris, “You thought it would be easier to let me believe that you didn't love me any more?”

The hollowness in Darren's voice made the guilt knock Chris' defences down to the ground, “I'm so so sorry, Dare. I thought you would be happier, you could be with someone that you could actually be seen with, someone like Mia.”

“Why didn't you talk to me about this, why did you leave the way you did?”

“I knew that if I waited for you, you would find a way to talk me out of it.”

Darren let a breath out, “Did you think that maybe I would have wanted to convince you to stay?”

Chris let his head fall down, wishing he could rewind to a time where he and Darren had each other, where they were happy and together with nothing else but lines to worry about.

“Chris,” Darren was holding out his hands to Chris, who shuffled over to Darren at sat in front of him on the floor, taking Darren's hands in his own, “I don't care what Michael, or Anne, or the public think. I don't want someone else, I don't want Mia, I want _you_.”

Darren lifted Chris' arms, crossing them over his knees and Chris rested his head on them. “You want me to be happy? Chris, _you_ make me happy, you've _always_ made me happy,” Darren reached a hand out to brush the hair out of Chris' face, but it just flopped back in his eyes, causing them both to laugh, “Chris, I love you and I want to be with you.”

“Even after everything that's happened in the last few months and what I did this week?”

Darren just smiled, “Especially after all that.”

Chris lifted his head up, his eyes were watering but he was smiling, “You mean that?”

He didn't say anything back, but Darren softly sung a single line down to Chris, “S _till together when it ends.”_

Chris let out a sob, but he the smile hadn't left his face. He remembered that day as if it was yesterday. He remembered how overwhelmed he had felt, how the feeling had been so strong that it felt like if he held it in, he would explode.

He looked Darren in the eyes and whispered, “I love you too.”

Darren lifted his hands to Chris' face, placing one on his neck and the other on his cheek. Darren pulled him up and bent towards him, connecting their lips together in a way that resembled their first kiss. Chris lifted his own arms to circle them around Darren's neck, joining his hands at Darren's nape where his hair was breaking free.

Darren started to stand up, pulling Chris with him. He let one hand fall from Chris' cheek to his waist, gripping tightly and pulling him in closer. They kissed slowly, gently as if rediscovering each other, reconnecting.

“Where do we go from here?” Chris asked once they pulled away.

Darren smiled shyly, “I know we broke up for a week and the last few months of when we were together were...rocky, but I'd like to do something for our one year anniversary.”

“I'd like that,” Chris pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of Darren's mouth, “But I meant with us, Michael and Anne, Mia and Will, how do we make this work?”

“We go back to the way we were before they found out, but this time we tell our friends,” Darren had been thinking about what he wanted for a while, what was best for Chris and him. He wanted to be with Chris, but he didn't want to hide any more, “If the public knows, so what. Chris, I want to be with you, wholly and completely, and if that means the world might find out, then so be it.”

Chris smiled, bright and happy, “I want that too,” then he smirks at Darren, “Though you might want to let the world know that you're not currently dating Mia Swier because you might be hated if people think that you're a cheater.”

Darren jabbed Chris in the ribs and leans in close, brushing their lips a little, “I guess it's a good thing I have an interview tomorrow night then.”

“Hmm, a good thing indeed,” Chris pressed his lips to Darren's, licking lightly across his bottom lip.

True to his word, Darren was on Conan the following night. He had spoken to Conan himself, asking him if it was possible to bring up the topic of relationships because there was an issue that he wanted to address.

After a few questions, ones about Darren's future on Glee and his music career, Conan started to ask some questions that would lead to relationships.

“Now, everyone knows that you're a straight male playing a gay teen, does that ever interfere with your personal life?”

“No no, I mean playing Blaine, who is so confident in who he is and so well rounded does automatically label me, but no, it doesn't interfere with my personal life because I've never been someone who worries about labels.”

“So I assume that means your girlfriend is comfortable with you playing an openly gay character?”

Darren looked appropriately confused, “Umm, I'd love to say that she is...but I don't actually have a girlfriend.”

The audience 'awwwwed' sadly along with Conan, “I guess this is where I tell you to embrace the freedom of being single to cheer you up...?”

“Oh, I'm not single.”

While Darren had been on Conan, Chris had been at home watching the broadcast. When Darren came home, it was to find Chris on the couch, laughing at the television. He'd calmed down enough to press a kiss to Darren's lips, pulling him onto the couch. They lied there, kissing for a few minutes, but Darren's smile became too big and Chris ended up kissing his teeth.

Chris pulled back and looked curiously at Darren, “What's gotten you so happy?”

“I've just really missed this,” Darren pressed a kiss to Chris' nose.

An hour later, Chris was lying in bed, Darren curled into his side, laughing silently. He was half sitting up, resting back against the headboard of his bed while Darren had one arm curled behind him and one over his waist. Chris' body was shaking, his eyes were squinted and he was clutching his stomach.

He had been like this since Darren had come home, laughing on and off, even as Darren kissed along his jaw, down his neck, Chris started laughing lightly. “Okay seriously, I'm _trying_ to turn you on and all you can do is _laugh_? Way to give your boyfriend confidence.”

Chris hummed, “Boyfriend, you know that's probably the only thing on every fan and gossip site's mind right now.”

“You're okay with that, right?” Darren asked, suddenly worried that he'd overstepped, “with what I said on Conan?”

Chris turned his head towards Darren, flashing him a sweet smile, “Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?”

“Well, I know you're a private person, so I thought-”

“No, no, I don't want you starting that,” Chris was holding his hand over Darren's mouth, “Look, we will never be able to escape the fans, even if we lived on opposite sides of the world, married with five kids each, they would still be convinced that we're together. I want to be able to go out with you, to be your plus one to an event. I want you to be my plus one, I want you to be the one that comes along to my signings, I want to be the one that cheers you on when you perform. I want everything that every other couple in the world has, and I want it all with you.”

Darren lurched toward Chris, pressing him into the mattress and kissing him hard. Chris laughed and Darren couldn't keep the smile off of his face, which made the kiss awkward, but it was them, happy and together so they didn't care.

Well, maybe Darren did.

“Okay, you really have to stop laughing now,” Darren wiggled himself closer to Chris and hooked one of his legs around Chris' waist, “You're killing my mood.”

Chris smirked, “Oh we can't have that, now can we?”

Darren leant over Chris, holding the weight off his torso up with his arms, “Stop being so... _you_ and kiss me.”

Chris pulled Darren down on top of him, drawing their lips together. It wasn't rough or frantic, it was slow and gentle, but still passionate. It had always been that way, for both of them. They'd never been so lost in the moment that they forgot themselves and got carried away. They were delicate, slow and loving, they didn't rush, they didn't need to.

They had all the time in the world.

Darren slid his hands down Chris' sides until he reached the hem of his t-shirt, which he pushed up Chris' stomach and chest until he was stopped when he reached Chris' arms. He poked Chris under his arm which Chris lifted up as Darren slid his t-shirt off completely, their lips separating for only a few seconds before they joined them again.

Chris slid his own hands down Darren's chest to pull his undershirt off, getting it caught and tangled in his arms in the process. Darren laughed out loud, separating their lips again, “How do you manage that every single time?”

On some levels, it was always like their first time. Especially the laughing. They always laughed, but Chris laughed the most. He was usually the first to let out a breathy chuckle, which Darren would respond to, huskily complaining that Chris was ruining the mood. He was never serious though, about Chris ruining the mood. Darren preferred it that way, he and Chris simply being themselves, carefree and open.

Laughing made it better, made it more _them_.

Michael wasn't happy with Darren the day after the interview; he called Darren and Chris could hear him yelling down the phone. Darren tried to say his piece, but Michael didn't really give him the chance to speak, so their phone call ended in a lot of yelling in which Darren fired Michael and proceeded to throw his phone across the room in frustration. Chris was there though, he caught Darren's wrist before he could let go of his phone and stared straight into his eyes, not saying anything. He didn't need to though, Darren calmed down enough just having Chris there.

Anne was a better story. She agreed to help the boys with whatever they decided, though she did remind them that they would have a lot to confront when they did go public. Chris assured her that they were ready, they have always been ready.

“I honestly have no idea why we kept this to ourselves for so long.” Chris sighed as he slumped himself onto the couch beside Darren.

Darren wiggled closer to Chris and snuggled into his side. He pulled his legs up on the couch and folded them under himself as he wrapped his arms around Chris' waist and tucked his head between his shoulder and neck.

“Because we enjoyed the peace so much,” Darren closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of Chris' cologne, “Could you imagine what it would have been like if everyone on set knew?”

Chris grumbled, “I think I'd rather the public know over most of them.”

“Same here,” Darren agreed, “though it's not like we purposely kept it hidden from them.”

Chris hummed, running his hand absent-mindedly back and forth along Darren's arm, “Are we still carpooling tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Darren said.

The following morning when Darren walked onto set, he was bombarded. The whole cast had arrived before him and jumped on him the instant he set foot in the room. Chris had needed to run back to his trailer quickly, so Darren went in alone and copped the onslaught.

Lea was the first to react, demanding that he explain why on earth she didn't know anything about Darren being in a relationship while everyone else voiced their agreement and added in their own piece of outrage – though they weren't actually angry.

“Jeez, calm down!” Darren exclaimed over the top of all the voices, “I didn't intentionally keep it from you guys, it just happened that way.”

Naya spoke from the back of the group, “So what, you have a boyfriend for a year and it doesn't once cross your mind to say something?”

At that moment, Chris walked in to the room. He walked up to Darren, stood directly behind him and draped his arms over Darren's shoulders, joining his hands together. Darren lifted his own arms automatically and clasped his hands over Chris'.

“Are you talking about me again?”

Darren turned his head to look at Chris, “Yes, well apparently you're an interesting topic as of now.”

The whole room had gone silent, each member of the cast staring in a mix of confusion and slight realisation at Chris and Darren. Chris hummed a little and then he perked up when he remembered he needed to be somewhere.

“Oh, I have to meet Ryan this morning, so I'll talk to you later?”

Darren nodded and then tilted his head back as Chris leant forward, connecting their lips together in a soft kiss before turning around and leaving the room to go and find Ryan. Darren turned back to face the cast. Every eye was on him, wide open and mouths gaping.

“So um, I guess now is a good time to mention that Chris and I are together?” Darren said, holding his arms up a little and grinning guiltily.

Two weeks later, Chris and Darren were curled up in bed late on a Sunday morning. They were kissing lazily and giggling when the other dragged their fingers along sensitive skin. Darren was particularly fidgety when Chris ran his hands up his sides, starting from his hip to his ribs.

Darren jerked back when Chris' fingers caught on his belly button, “Chriiiiiiiiisss!”

“You are _soo_ ticklish,” Chris laughed.

Darren pulled away long enough to glare at Chris, but then leant up on his elbows to hover over his body, smirking seductively as his lips brushed against Chris', “Why is it, whenever I am in the mood and am trying to fool around, you always find a way to make one of us laugh?”

“I'm sorry,” Chris attempted to pout but his lips could not fight his smile, “But I'm...” a loud rumble echoed from below Darren, “umm, hungry.”

Darren laughed loudly, “God Chris, are you ever _not_ hungry?”

“Nope.”

“Yeah, didn't think so,” Darren chuckled then lifted himself off of Chris, “come on, lets make lunch.”

They climbed out of bed, picking up their clothes and chucking the others' items at each other. “Dare?”

Darren hummed in response as he pulled on his boxers, throwing Chris' shirt across the bed.

Chris caught his shirt and tugged it on, “I was thinking, do you want to go out for lunch?”

Darren turned around to face Chris, looking at him curiously and a little bit hopeful, “Where do you want to go?”

“We could go to Dino's.”

“Over on Picos Boulevard?”

Chris looked worried for a moment, “Is that...okay?”

Darren walked over to Chris and stood between his legs, cupping his face in his hands, “Of course it is okay.”

“So we're going out in public?”

“Yes, we most certainly are.”

Darren leant into Chris who circled his arms around Darren's waist. Darren pressed a kiss to Chris' lips and lifted his arms to Chris' shoulders, pushing against them slightly until they started to fall backwards.

He fell on top of Chris, landing with his arms either side of his head. He pulled his lips away to kiss along Chris' jaw then down his neck until he reached his collarbone.

“What happened to lunch?” Chris chuckled, kissing Darren's neck in return.

Darren moved on of his legs up higher on Chris' thigh and rolled his hips against Chris', “Lunch can wait.”

An hour later, Chris and Darren were dressed and on their way out for lunch. They got to Dino's Chicken and Burgers just after one o'clock and Darren went in first while Chris parked the car.

When Chris walked in he was stopped by a girl at the door. “Hi, how can I help you?”

Chris could see how wide her eyes were and knew that she recognised him. He gave her a bright smile, “Hi, I'm meeting my boyfriend here, he came in just a minute ago.”

“Did you have a booking?”

Chris nodded, “Yeah, it should be under Christopher C.”

The girl looked down a list that she was holding on her clipboard and nodded when she came across the name she was searching for, “It's just this way.”

She lead Chris around the corner to a table for two. Darren was already sitting down, looking over the menu when Chris approached the table. Darren stood up when he saw Chris, stepped up to him and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Hi,” Darren smiled and turned to take his seat, shortly followed by Chris.

Katie, their waitress, made sure they were settled in before taking their orders for drinks, which she returned with quickly, while Chris and Darren were still deciding on what to eat. They noticed a few people watching them, glancing back and forth between them as if trying to figure out exactly what they were doing eating lunch together.

Chris spotted one girl with a group of friends frantically poking the boy beside her in the arm. Chris was about to point this out to Darren when he thought of a way to make the most of the moment. He moved his hand across the table until it touched Darren's, who responded by curling his fingers around Chris'.

Darren looked up at Chris, a questioning look on his face, “What,” he whispered.

“Some fans are watching,” Chris whispered back, a smirk on his face.

Darren chuckled and indicated to the waitress that they were ready to order. Their lunch came out within ten minutes; Darren had ordered a chicken fillet burger with home made pesto, onion and roasted peppers, while Chris ordered a beef and bacon burger with salsa, pineapple and extra bacon.

Their burgers were really high, which proved difficult when they started to fall apart each time Chris and Darren took a bite.

“It's a good thing this isn't a first date,” Darren laughed when he dropped his crumbled burger onto his plate, “This is definitely not how you impress someone you like.”

Chris dropped his own burger onto his plate and chuckled, “Hence why we're here for the first time after being together for a year.”

Darren rested his arms on the table as he wiped his hands, “I can't believe that it's been a year already.”

“Oh ohhh, you're not sick of me, are you?”

“No, I will never be sick of you,” Darren reached across the table for both of Chris' hands, “Even after all this time, every date, every kiss, every 'I love you', it all feels like the first. You were amazing then Chris. You're amazing now and you will always be amazing.”

Chris subtly wiped a small tear off of his cheek, “Have I told you how much I love you?” He lifted one of Darren's hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to Darren's knuckles, “Because, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

They both looked up, directly into the others' eyes.

“ _Fingers trace your every outline,”_ Darren ran his fingers gently over Chris' hands _, “Paint a picture with my hands,”_ He drew little faces with bright and happy smiles on Chris' palms _, “Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm, change the weather...”_

Darren pressed a kiss to Chris' knuckles.

“ _Still together when it ends.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say that I love Chris with Will and Darren with Mia, I only wrote them into this the way I did for the purpose of the story without having to create two completely new characters. Also, I have no idea who Chris and Darren's managers are nor do I know anything about them, so their characterisation is completely fictional. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks a heap for reading, I hope you liked it!
> 
> Let me know what you think, leave a comment!


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